That would be not too many if one more cross on Golgotha, and I know they will nail me on the cross too if I do not stand with them and shout “crucify him!”. Finally they did. The difference is I do not have strength of praying for the robber beside me, Nether i will have the strength of begging or cursing, I have nothing to win, I have nothing to lose, my blood would be still red and flesh, but my soul is hollow, like wind which does not bear a thought; but Jesus prayed for me, he even did that to those who crucified me. I know he does not have a choice, like I do not either, the difference is he is saving me, but I am saving nobody. The cross is clean, washed clean by blood, so dear, I do not have a choice but hold it tight.
Who can bother me then, if I bear on my body the marks of Jesus?